I've always known it made him a possibility for being a target. But, Sora's smarter than he looks. Anyone who believes he'd go down easily or at all will find out the hard way.
[ That's right, Riku doesn't think Sora is 100% dumb. ]
I didn't think Akira would be that type of person either, and even though it's no excuse there are things that can twist people. Have them so stuck deep in their pain, that it'll take a lot to get through to them.
I was sixteen when an unknown biological agent killed hundreds of people at the college where I was studying. I was the only survivor, and my memory was damaged. But because of my medical knowledge, I was considered to be the only person who could've killed all those people. So they locked me up for bioterrorism. 250 years in prison, and I've served eight so far.
I was the only person on the scene who could've created and unleashed something so deadly, and I would've known how to protect myself from it. I'm sure there were those who didn't believe my amnesia was real, either.
And they needed someone to blame, so people would feel safe. I had no way to prove I was innocent, and my reputation as someone distant and emotionless only made the accusations fit more closely.
It doesn't matter. Without concrete proof that I didn't do it, I won't be exonerated. Everyone I've told so far has been varying degrees of sympathetic or even outraged, but you can't overturn my sentence.
[He doesn't sound angry or even hopeless. There might be some measure of resignation, but other than that his words are hollow.]
If I don't stay with the Foundation, I'll be terminated as an unneeded instance or sent back to my world, which means dying in prison. That's the life I have.
[ He's not the type of person who normally would have a lot of words, but there's something about this that strikes him, even if he takes pause. It's possible he's just like those people who approached the other man, as he said, were outraged or sympathetic. But, even so. Even so. ]
But, if you had a choice in that world of yours, you wouldn't want to live a life like that. So, why should you live a life tied down by regrets?
It took awhile for me, but eventually I didn't. [ He'll let the implications there stand for itself. He's pretty damn sure when he helped Destiny Islands fall into darkness, there were people who never returned. And still, his friends willingly welcomed him back, knowing what he did.
Knowing that he tried to kill one of them, even. ] And I know, maybe it's too much to accept right now - it wasn't easy for me, it won't be easy for you. Maybe you won't ever accept it, but at the very least, it's something to think about - the idea of making a new life, surrounded by people who would be willing to accept you for you that lives in the now. Within the Foundation or even beyond your world.
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[Erhard lowers his head again.]
Ryuji and Takumi both trusted Akira, and now one of them is dead. We thought we knew him, but we didn't. He had us all fooled.
[Erhard wanted to believe in Akira. To be proven wrong hurts more than he'll openly admit.]
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I've always known it made him a possibility for being a target. But, Sora's smarter than he looks. Anyone who believes he'd go down easily or at all will find out the hard way.
[ That's right, Riku doesn't think Sora is 100% dumb. ]
I didn't think Akira would be that type of person either, and even though it's no excuse there are things that can twist people. Have them so stuck deep in their pain, that it'll take a lot to get through to them.
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[People are safer if he pushes them away. He can be professional without acting as anyone's friend.]
I am a murderer, after all. I was in prison when the Foundation took me.
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[ ... ]
Wouldn't be the first time I've met someone who said they were a murderer and turned out to not be so bad.
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[Because you're both trying too hard to think well of him.]
You're not going to ask me why I call myself a killer?
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For a reason. ]
I didn't want to open up old wounds if it wasn't something you wouldn't want to talk about. But, if you don't mind sharing, I'd like to hear why.
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[Because he wants to put this in perspective for the teenager.]
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[ So, close, kind of, he supposes. ]
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They locked you up based on your knowledge alone?
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And they needed someone to blame, so people would feel safe. I had no way to prove I was innocent, and my reputation as someone distant and emotionless only made the accusations fit more closely.
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...That sure is a flash of something intense and emotional in his eyes. ]
That doesn't make you a killer. If anything that just proves how blind and desperate they are.
[ ... ]
As far as I'm concerned, that's all just circumstantial, and with no real proof that doesn't really mean you're as guilty as they assume you are.
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[He doesn't sound angry or even hopeless. There might be some measure of resignation, but other than that his words are hollow.]
If I don't stay with the Foundation, I'll be terminated as an unneeded instance or sent back to my world, which means dying in prison. That's the life I have.
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But, if you had a choice in that world of yours, you wouldn't want to live a life like that. So, why should you live a life tied down by regrets?
It took awhile for me, but eventually I didn't. [ He'll let the implications there stand for itself. He's pretty damn sure when he helped Destiny Islands fall into darkness, there were people who never returned. And still, his friends willingly welcomed him back, knowing what he did.
Knowing that he tried to kill one of them, even. ] And I know, maybe it's too much to accept right now - it wasn't easy for me, it won't be easy for you. Maybe you won't ever accept it, but at the very least, it's something to think about - the idea of making a new life, surrounded by people who would be willing to accept you for you that lives in the now. Within the Foundation or even beyond your world.